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Small Victories

January 18th, 2018

Sometimes in the darkness we have to find the good things to focus on no matter how small. So for me in the past couple of days I have really had to focus on the small things to get me through.

The last time I had a fight with my mother it ended very badly for me because the depression struggle was real. I was not able to overcome the pain that I was feeling until I fell into a really awful cycle with my self-harm. Granted that was years ago but when we came to another falling apart I didn't know how it was going to go.

Sadly it was due to me sticking up for myself for the first time in the 21 years that I have been alive. I made a decision I should come first and my education should come first but it came back to bite me. Yes, there were a lot of tears because I care about her and felt like everything fell apart but then something dawned on me.

As I was walking back to my apartment last night, I realized that not once did the thought that I wasn't going to get through it cross my mind. I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and somehow I was going to be okay. My God was still good. I don't know how but somehow it would all work out. However small that victory might have seemed for me it was huge.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stand up for myself and now fall apart or turn on myself in the process.

Then this morning, I saw Jagger and I didn't care. The pain was gone. The hurt and anger was gone. The Lord heals in ways that sometimes we don't understand because it takes time.

I don't know where you are in your life today. If it is a morning after that you regret, a small victory that you have been able to overcome or maybe you are reading this wondering who this great God I talk about is. What I can tell you is that if you don't know God that's okay. If you want to it's not always easy and if you don't want to that's okay too.

Whatever walk of life you are in there are small victories every step of the way. What are yours today?

xoxo,
Em

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