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Seasons

January 31st, 2018

Do you wonder as the seasons throughout the year changes if your life goes through the same changes as well? I have really started to wonder about my friends and the seasons of life that I am finding myself in with them. I know that a chapter of my life is going to end but I always thought that the friends I made in college were going to last all of my life.

I'm not saying that some of them won't but lately I have started to wonder about some of them. What will become of them? How are they going to continue to change in the next few months? Will that change ultimately be for the better?

The proper Christian response is that in all time the Lord makes things right; therefore, his timing of people and friendships is for a specific reason. Even if we don't know what that reason may be the Lord is still faithful.

As I reflect on the past three and a half years will the hare I realize that I will miss her more than I thought I would after we leave. Lately, I feel like we're falling apart. I don't know how to fix it which again makes me fall into this vicious cycle of being overly analytical with myself. Even though, I may not have done anything wrong at all ever. How do you read a situation or friendship when everything seems so gray?

It has become even more difficult with Kit. I knew this semester was going to be hard but I never dreamed that it would be this hard. I see us drifting apart and every time I see her I feel my heart breaking. Which according to anatomy from last semester, is physically possible. I want to ask God why? Why is it so hard to love someone but yet feel like they don't love you back?

I feel like a biological application is the only thing that makes sense right now in that friendships should be mutually symbiotic. Yet, when they become endosymbiotic and only one person is giving that relationship can become strained and how do we overcome that? I'll be quite honest I do not have answers right now.

For now, I get on my knees and pray to the Lord in ways that are hard to describe. I tell Him that I don't get it and I may never. Yet, I know He has a plan. He is faithful.

Maybe friends change as frequently as the seasons. How do we cope with those changes?

xoxo,
Em

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