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Major Life Choices

February 18, 2018

Today I changed what I want to do with my life. For the last year and a half I wanted to be a forensic toxicologist but today I realized that's not what I wanted to do. I want to be a pharmacist.

Most people hear of pharmacy and only think of the money behind it but what about the medicine of it? The chemistry of it? I love that part of it! When someone is sick and I will be able to find medication to help them. I just want to help people and have found that pharmacy is how I can do that.

You would think that when I found a passion in my life that my family would be supportive. However, the second I deviate from the plan my mother has for my life it falls apart. Why can't I do what makes me happy? I know it's not going to be easy. But anything worth having isn't easy. Can't they just understand that? I guess not.

My whole life I have bent over backwards to please other people and do what they want. However, I have realized what about me? Selfish, right? Don't we need to be at some points. Life isn't easy but being a people pleaser will only make you unhappy. I have learned that the hard way. (I jump around thoughts a lot, if you haven't noticed.)

I can't make a decision for myself if I wanted to. The idea of hurting someone I care about just for my own benefit... I can't. So I sacrifice my happiness. I'm not throwing myself a pity party but I realized that I have made a lot of decisions based on other peoples' happiness. What am I doing with my life?

Honestly... I have not a clue. I am winging this whole life thing. But God has a plan. It is perfect and I may not know what it is and I have trouble believing it. Right now, I am following where I think the Lord is leading me but only Lord knows.

Life is unknown but God is in control. Where is he leading you?

xoxo,
Em

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