Skip to main content

Hit A Wall

June 13, 2017

Today was an off day. Not depressive but I just got super angry at Jagger. We don't have a label and everything is gray and lost between us right now. I don't know what to do or how to make it better or fix it or make him understand everything I am feeling.

When I'm at a loss a friend, I'll call him, was there to be a lot of reason when I needed it. He made me realize how important it is to be strong in the Lord in the times of uncertainty or doubt. Right now, I have so much doubt about why I am in the situation I am in but for some reason, this is part of the Lord's plan.

I hit a wall but found a friend who was will to pick me back up and show me that God is where I need to turn. That kind of friend is one of a kind because they can be a light in the darkness. So for right now, I have to find a way to dig back into my Bible everyday and pray again. Because I'll be honest, I have been struggling with it since I came back from my mission trip.

So I start over. I find new plans to read and start making time in my days for the Lord. I pray consistently for discernment and go from here.

I hit a wall but had a friend there to pick me up. Do you have someone willing to pick you up when you hit that wall in your life?

xoxo,
Em

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transitions

Sitting in class this morning, we decided that we were going to learn about suicide. The thing that I thought I left in my past after March 14th of 2016. Then as I was sitting, listening and learning, I realized that I have the chance to use my experience to help others. Which I guess, I always thought was the goal after overcoming my struggle. I thought I was supposed to be able to talk about my issues and help others. However, that is easier said then done most of the time. It isn't easy to directly ask someone if they are struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation. When we don't ask or talk about it just emphasizes the stigma. I guess my question is that while I learn about transitioning into professional school why did I think I needed to leave my past behind? It is a part of who I am and what I have overcome in my life. I feel like I should use it. Talk about it. The more even ONE person talks about their past and their issues the more it will help even one pers
Post a Comment
Read more

Kryptonite

We all have our kryptonite, right? That one thing that gets us. Whether it's ice cream or a person, we have something. For me, it's a person. And I love him. Just saying that out loud is hard. We haven't had the easiest friendship for the four years of undergrad and the last couple of years were murky with feelings. When I graduated, we didn't talk and I had lost my closest guy friend that was a big rock in my life for a long time. Granted, there were big parts of my life he missed as I got into pharmacy school and what not but somehow he always ends up back in my life. I have truly questioned if it is the best decision or if I should just let him be. Every time, my heart and this voices tells me to let him in. He is my kryptonite. We fight. We don't talk. We come back. Then, we talk. I realize I still love him. I miss him not being in my life. I start to question again why. Why is he in my life? Why this season? Or why the last? It's not that I question
Post a Comment
Read more

This is Only the Beginning

February 15, 2016 I always said blogging was stupid and was for the Serena Van Der Woodsens of the world. If you don't know who SVDW is then you haven't watched Gossip Girl, the white girl staple Netflix binge. However, I find myself as a SVDW writing my own blog. Why am I writing a blog? This is how I can cope with the pain of white girl life. Instead of using self-harm to tear my body apart I can use words to express myself. Basic white girl, right? I make no promises about the niceness or the morbidity of what some posts will bring but it will be me. White girl moments and all. Here I am. Almost 20, still trying to figure out who I am and what God's plan is for me. I will never fully understand how or why He does things, only that He does. All I ask is that as you read, you learn who I am and walk this life with me. Good, bad, and everything in between. Are you ready to take a leap of faith into the unknown of tomorrow? I am. xoxo, Em
Post a Comment
Read more