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Racial Realization

May 17th, 2017

Over the past few weeks since I have been home I have been thinking and realizing a lot about people and what color means in society today.

I have had mixed reaction about race my whole life depending on the person and my family members. When Fluffy was a part of my life last year there was a mixed reaction from my grandmother because he was Hispanic. To me, he is no less of a person just because of his skin color. What does that matter?

From that, I was really worried about what would happen if I brought home a black man? Would my whole family explode just because he is black? I brushed it off at first as no big deal because I never dreamed it would be something I would have to handle in my life.

Enter Jagger. He is black. Never did I ever think anything differently about him just because he is black. I've had friends that have judged him and everything that happened between us just because of his color.

For instance, my Athlete did not realize that he was black but when she did she flipped. Said that everything that happened, was only because of his color, family and where he comes from. It infuriated me that she judged him because he's black. She stereotyped him. His skin color is this; therefore, he acts like this. He is a human being not property; you cannot judge him just because of his outside.

Why? Why are people like this? He is no less of a person just based on his skin color. He deserves to be known for who he is and how he acts. If he were a complete douchebag then okay, he's not a great person but you know what?

I thought that for a long time about Jagger until he and I sat his in car the Thursday night of finals week. We had ran errands and were just sitting and talking about life. He said, "I'm sorry." For a second, I was taken off guard because he had nothing to be sorry for so I was confused but he continued.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you over Christmas and January. I never realized how what I said objectified you and how that would make you feel. I will spend everyday for the rest of eternity trying to make that up to you." I picked up his hand and melted. Those words, his apology, reassured everything that I felt for him.

I love him. Not just cute infatuation because he pays attention to me or has feelings for me but real deep feelings that there aren't words for sometimes. Feelings that when I see him the world around me stops and nothing else matters but him. I've only ever seen him as a person not a black person and I love him all the same. It's not just about the good things but being able to stick by someone through the good, bad, and ugly to see the light on the other side. That is love. That makes it real. No matter skin color. That is what I feel for him for the first time in a very long time.

To me: skin color does not matter. Who you are as a real person and how do you treat me?

Love does not matter skin color. So I ask, is there a racial realization in your life that you need to have that is the same?

xoxo,
Em

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