Skip to main content

Replacement Rubble

March 26, 2017

In the past six days, I have asked myself more times why I am not enough to fix the problems of the people I love around me? Never did I think I would feel replaced by them but I guess I was wrong.

Through the tough times, I have been the one who has stood by her through thick and thin but it doesn't seem to matter anymore. The lying, going behind my back, and fakeness I don't even know who she is anymore. Where did my friend go and how do I get her back?

Better question is what did I do to be replaced? Why am I not enough for her? I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter because the Lord is enough but right now I don't even know.

How can the same Lord who loves unconditionally take away my best friend? How can she make me feel like so much less than myself because I'm not enough for her. What can I do to make myself good enough? I thought everything I was doing was enough but I guess I was wrong.

I thought I was there to replace the broken not be replaced? How do you handle that?

xoxo,
Em

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unexpected Realizations

September 8, 2016 Yesterday, I had a conversation that I wasn't expecting to have and it went better than expected. Sometimes, you expect the worst in people and then they surprise you. Then, I realized how much a horrible person I can be by judging someone based on my emotions. (Bad life choice!) Then, I once again have a realization that pushing people out because of others isn't right but how often do we find ourselves doing it? Or how often do we justify it because of our anger and emotions? Too often, we let our emotions make our decisions instead of trying to be reasonable or logical about the situation. It can be hard to "check" ourselves when we know that we will be wrong or our actions will be. However, it can be redeeming to realize that you're wrong and move past it. While it can be awkward to have those conversations, the freedom that comes from them is unexplainable sometimes. I was wrong. Very wrong. I judged and then I realized I didn't ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Marking Time

August 24, 2016 Have you ever been in the middle of a tunnel in life and don't know how to find a way out? I've been experiencing a lot of that lately. Not in a depression sense of my life but more in the purpose of it. (If that makes any sense). I feel as though I am marking time through life not really connecting in what I am supposed to be doing. It's a weird feeling. When we, our marching band, went to church together on Sunday the pastor was talking about relationships and three levels of connections we can have. It got me thinking about my own friendships and relationships but also about the connections of my life. What if I haven't been connecting in the ways God is calling me because I am too focused on marking time through life? I realized how much more intentional I need to be with my life. I realized how much I don't want people in my life unless they are "real" friends. So I have decided to do a life cleanse. My life cleanse just mean...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life Without a Script

May 13, 2016 Since I have been home for the past week it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes in these roller coasters it's hard to trust that God is in control. The past few weeks my church at school was talking about "life without a script" but what does that mean? For me, it's having faith that as my story is playing out; God is in control and is the one dictating my script. (Not going to lie, it's really hard) Between a crazy family situation that is totally out of control, it makes my heart hurt. With other stress from work things with my family I'm struggling to have faith. It makes me question why do good things happen to bad people? I have to remember that Satan is running our material world. Now more than ever I have to lean into God's plan because this world is only temporary. My mom is the one who has been reminding me about that. She tells me "have faith, remember?" While I am normally the strong in God; now my mom...
Post a Comment
Read more