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Genie in a Bottle

I wonder how many times a day I ask God for something. How many times do I ask for him to do this specific thing so I can love Him more or be a "better" Christian?

Most days I don't keep track but when I do, it's too many. I constantly ask for things. I feel like I treat God like a genie in a bottle. I pour in requests because I want this or that out of my life. Then I get upset because I don't get what I want from God.

Then I will stop and think, I'm so selfish. Who am I to treat God as a genie? I need to reorder my priorities in life. Such as yesterday. I got so upset at some really small things with my lab or my third class for  school.

All these small voices that I couldn't make it. I don't have what it takes to make it through school. I was put school before God. School was my idol. So I started asking God for all the things I needed for school. I put God in a box or a bottle to get what I thought I needed for school.

Boy was I wrong. When you put other thins first, God knows how to know you down a few pegs. So, I regroup and reevaluate.

I start a new class tomorrow and I'm PUMPED! It is going to be really hard and lots of biochemistry and physiology. I really want to use this science part of my brain and I have missed it. Pray for me because it's going to be rough.

I have now been able to step back and say that I am here because the Lord placed me here. I have been called and now the Lord will qualify. My days of putting God in a bottle are, hopefully, over. Will I still probably screw up and do it again, more than likely.

The outlook is now that I am doing this for the Lord. I am doing this because God called me to. This is not my work or my will. It is what God wants me to do. It's freeing to just let go of the stress of having to be right or perfect all the time.

I don't have to always get As. I don't have to be the smartest or the best. I am not. Nothing I can do is enough except to call out to God and say I can't. It's okay.

It's okay if you can't either. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say I am not enough. Just know that the second you want to let go, God will catch you. It will be okay.

How many times have you put God in a bottle? Why? What for? Have you truly found contentment in those wishes?

xoxo,
Em

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