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I Miss You... Maybe?

April 18, 2016

It is a sad realization when we find that someone who we were so close with is now a stranger to us, but what if that realization and separation is what's best?

Friday morning I realized that I lost three of my best friends and I will probably never get them back. While it hurt, it wasn't the normal chest breaking, heart racing pain that I normally felt. Not that I didn't care but I was at a point of "it's their loss, not mine." It was something that my counselor pointed out to me that I'd never had before.

I keep blaming myself for everything that is wrong in my life but what if it isn't all me? (for the first time in my life) I'm not always the one who is wrong. I caused hurt and I know that and I have taken the responsibility for my actions. From there, the possibilities are endless.

Letting go of the hurt and those people is hard but because of it I am stronger. I walk around my beautiful campus smiling because I know God is looking down on me and protecting me. I should focus more on the people who are there for me instead of dwelling on what was or could have been.

They say that it is harmful to live in the past and I have seen that it is. Focusing on the future is brighter and happier. I moved on to bigger and better things in my life.

To my friends that were: I missed you for a long time but I can't miss you anymore. You showed me your true self and you weren't there for me when I needed you most. While ya'll said it's emotional space, your actions don't match that. You can carry on ignoring me and you can have my old friends because at the end of the day I know that they weren't true friends. Because the ones that are, are still by my side despite everything I have been going through. When ya'll decide to text me and wonder if I'm good because you haven't talked to me in weeks realize that you're the one who did that. Think. Why? Because, I'm no one's second choice. Not anymore.

Don't sell yourself short that every conflict is your fault because it's not. Don't be someone's second choice. Be unique and realize it is okay to move on from friends.

Sometimes it takes not texting back to realize that walking away is what's best. Do you need to walk?

xoxo,
Em

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