How a White Girl Does Life

March 28th, 2018 Over the past couple of days, the wheels have been turning about what it means to be a Christian, what does it look like to be in a healthy relationship, or what does it mean to truly be happy? As I got coffee with one of my profs on Tuesday, I asked this question. What does it look like to be a Christian but struggle with reading the Bible everyday? What does it mean if I struggle to read a devotional book everyday? This is something that he did not have an answer for. Honestly, I don't either. I can tell you that I love Jesus more than there are words. I'm the girl that takes notes in chapel, EVEN with a phone. Cause that was a fun time today in chapel. Being called out for being on my phone. Wow, sorry that I actually care. That instant reaction is me trying to defend my relationship with God. I do care. I do try. I do love Jesus more than I can express to people. What does it mean to be all in for Jesus but not be able to be consistent? I realized t

March 14th, 2018 After turning 22 yesterday I started reflecting on what my 21st year looked like. I realized a lot changed in ways that I wasn't prepared to handle yet here I am. There was a lot of change about who I was throughout the past year. Since turning 21, I applied to pharmacy school, got in, found a new place to live in the fall, and so many more things. I almost lost both parents in the past six months and started my final year of college. A lot changes in 365 days and that includes me. I have grown stronger in my faith and had moments of falling on my face. Yet, I am still blessed by a Lord that has a plan. In the past year, the worry about whether or not I will get married is gone because I don't have a reason to worry about it. Young 21 year old me thought the world would end if I didn't have it figured out but yet why? There is peace in what the Lord is planning. I never dreamed I would be the person to have this sort of jump and fall faith in God.

March 1st, 2018  I had a friend ask me once who is more pure the man who has had sex and repented or the man who hasn’t but lusts after a women?  As I sit in chapel writing this I think about the choices I’ve made and my friends and how does this work in relation to purity? Often we think that if we have sex before marriage then we cannot be forgiven. Yet, if I think this then I also think that about cutting. How could someone who mutilates their own body be forgiven for it?  Are we defining purity only by sexuality. What about other addictions? According to my faith, my body is a temple and I should honor it. Is that only in the decisions of sexuality?  While I can say that I have held myself to the standard of waiting until marriage I have seen friends that have not. I am not better than them. I am not holier or a better Christian. I am broken just like them only in a different way.  Between chapel yesterday and today, I have had a lot of gears turning. While the definition of pu