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Showing posts from June, 2017

Now or Never

June 23,  2017 I hate ultimatums because they usually end is both people end up getting hurt. I have been doing a lot of thinking though about what decisions mean and how each decision dictates our lives. I guess it's something that I never realized that priorities dictate our decisions and part of that is where we're at in our lives. I always thought that seven almost eight months would be enough to stick by Jagger's side. I thought he would realize that it was enough work through the tough stuff in his life. No, I didn't give him an ultimatum but I pointed out that I was willing to stick by him because I had for so long. Yet, it still wasn't enough to show him how much I love him. When it hit me that I was not the priority to him that he was to me I had to let him go in a sense. Relationships can't be one-sided but when it feels like only one person is making it work it won't. I have hit a point in my life that I love unconditionally and don't

Hit A Wall

June 13, 2017 Today was an off day. Not depressive but I just got super angry at Jagger. We don't have a label and everything is gray and lost between us right now. I don't know what to do or how to make it better or fix it or make him understand everything I am feeling. When I'm at a loss a friend, I'll call him, was there to be a lot of reason when I needed it. He made me realize how important it is to be strong in the Lord in the times of uncertainty or doubt. Right now, I have so much doubt about why I am in the situation I am in but for some reason, this is part of the Lord's plan. I hit a wall but found a friend who was will to pick me back up and show me that God is where I need to turn. That kind of friend is one of a kind because they can be a light in the darkness. So for right now, I have to find a way to dig back into my Bible everyday and pray again. Because I'll be honest, I have been struggling with it since I came back from my mission trip.