How a White Girl Does Life

November 28, 2016 I was listening to this song by Parachute on the car drive back to school the other day and started thinking about love. Especially, when it is said in a relationship. What does it mean? When is too soon? What weight does that carry in a relationship? Are these things that people think about when they say I love you? Are they things that should be thought about? Then I thought about my parents. They have been married for 27 or 28 years and have had a lot of struggles along the way and their marriage isn't perfect but they do love each other. You know how I know? "It can light you up, it can leave you cold." My dad saw six years of cold. He stayed by my mom's side through it. That's love. My mom and dad spent six years basically not talking at all. From what I remember of it all, the only conversations they had was when they fought about stupid small stuff. When you can go through years of fighting but still get through it with Christ. That

November 20, 2016 I sat in church today and sang a hymn that I know so well but today I found a different meaning in it. Instead of singing meaningless lyrics, I realized how much truth there is in them. To sing "nothing but the blood of Jesus" made me think, what about the blood I shed? Not for others but that I do to myself. That's a triggering thought for a lot of people and I'm not exempt from that somedays. I'll be the first person to admit that there are days where it is really hard to walk away from my self-harm but then today, I realized that I'm not hurting just me. I see how selfish my self-harm can be. When I decide to cut, I'm not just cutting me but Christ. (Woah...) As a child of Christ, I carry him through his sprit in me. Which means that the blood I shed isn't just mine. What gives me the right to tarnish the blood that Christ shed for me on the cross? As a meaningless, sinful human, I don't have that right. While I haven

November 4, 2016 Crisp fall mornings with coffee and a Bible could not be more perfect! However, as I sat down to read this morning it was the first time all week. I felt like crap for not making more time for it but then my RA told me something that really hit home. We don't have to be perfect everyday of reading our Bibles. We are not perfect humans so it's okay to not have everything together everyday. While we strive for perfectionism; we fall short. God loves us anyways. Maybe it's saying a five second prayer everyday and then spending an hour and a half one a week. Maybe it's having time everyday to sit for that hour and a half. It's about balance. Which is hard, right? College is so much. Between classes, homework, studying, friends, extra-curricular stuff and everything in between it's hard to make time. That is okay to struggle to find balance. It has taken me years to even start to get my footing on how to handle everything. However, it hasn&