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Second Choice Struggle

September 16, 2016

My whole life I have struggled with my self worth and there are some days like today when the struggle rears its ugly head. When the guy you kinda find attractive comes to ask for advice about another girl. Who just so happens to be younger and then once again it dawns on me that the guy I like picked a younger girl over me.

All the thoughts of not being good enough come rushing back into my mind. Why aren't I enough? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? I never get an answer. Only rejection.

Boys suck. That is my life motto but now I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem not them. Which is sad because who I am shouldn't be rooted in how much boys like me. With society the way it is though, it's hard as a female for it now to be.

I hate that it has become a normal to expect that guys won't like me back. That self-loathing and self-rejection is lethal to a female with self-worth issues. Then the voices in my head tell me it's time to accept that maybe I'll always be a second choice.

It's nights like tonight that believing in myself is near impossible to believe that it's enough.

Will there come a time when I won't be the second choice?

xoxo,
Em

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