How a White Girl Does Life

Have you ever had a moment where a single picture, song, smell, place or taste gives you a distinct memory or feeling? Most of the time they trigger memories of our childhood or a place we visited but yesterday I had this moment where I felt clarity. While I was scrolling through Instagram, I came across a photo posted by one of my used to be best friends. In the split second that I read the caption and glossed the photo, my feelings and directions felt very clear. In that moment, I felt free. Free to feel whatever I might. Free to love who I am. Free to be confident in who I am becoming. Free to not know what this transition in my life will look like. I was no longer afraid of what other people thought or who I would appear to be. I knew that I loved Jesus and that was all that mattered. I am not saying that I have it all figured out. Far from it but I know that God does. I'm not afraid of it. I have so much excitement to dive into my relationship with the Lord. That is ex...

July 18th, 2018 What could you do with two hours? Take a nap, read a book, have coffee with a friend or even change a life. This week I have had two hours from Sunday through tomorrow to spend with small kids trying to change their lives. I only have 8 hours with them which is a exponentially small fraction of their lives. But in those 8 hours how much could we change? I mediated on this in church on Sunday and realized that the impact could be huge or nothing at all. I think in the grand scheme of it all my job is to love them. Even if they don't learn or get anything else from this week, they have to know someone loves them. I won't know what kind of home the kids come from or what they are going home to but for two small hours I get to be a part of their lives. It's like being a missionary but getting to do it in my own backyard. This time I don't have to overcome a language barrier as I did in Panama but that doesn't make it any easier. To get out of...

July 8th, 2018 I know that I haven't written in a very long time. An overdue amount of time. I have had a lot of adult life changes in the past few months and have been reflecting on those life changes. I decided since my life is changing that my blog is going to change with it. Over the past two years of blogging, I have followed my struggle with depression and overcoming those hurdles. For the first time in my life, I can say that I have truly overcome the fight with depression. I won. God won. I no longer want to focus on this part of my life but instead focus on how things will be changing into adulthood. In the past two months, I graduated undergraduate (still surreal), I moved in with my Aunt, I finalized financial aid for pharmacy school, I went back to Panama and I started adulthood. I can be honest about two things: first, I am horrible at adulting. Second, I love every minute of how much my life is changing. Shortly after graduating I went back to Panama and I fel...