How a White Girl Does Life

October 19, 2017 As a 21-year-old female going to a Christian university, I have had many thoughts that usually I keep to myself and the struggle with what kind of decisions I want to make in my life but today I realized that I can't do that anymore. I was raised with parents that didn't have a marriage born out of God or out of a Christ-like relationship so I haven't know what a healthy marriage could look like my whole life. That has now translated into a lot of my feelings towards relationships because I don't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like at times. Which has lead me to wonder something? What kind of gratification is it when our gratification in life comes from things that make us feel guilty or our decisions of gratification are made in guilt? I have really been wrestling with this idea about who am I in my moral and sexual decisions because in society today what is supposed to be right anymore? As I have gone back and forth betwe...

October 13, 2017 We all have heard the cliche saying that when nothing goes right to go left. Well, somedays like today that sounds like a really fantastic option. Sometimes it is realizing that when nothing is going right to still look on the bright side because there are good things. No matter how hard they maybe to find. When your car doesn't start, you find friends to bail you out and then you go driving to blow off steam. Plan for this afternoon. Check. When you have three exams to study for you micromanage your time to get everything done. Planned every hour of the next two days. Check. See someone who reminds you of pain you pray. It's been a month since I last talked to Jagger. A month since I realized he will never be a part of my life again. While I thought it would automatically be easier to acknowledge it; it is still a process. I can't just turn off the memories and the pain. while talking about it helps, it is never going to be more than it was. It nev...

October 5th, 2017 I have prayed for clarity of mind and heart for the past few months but how do you know when you have found it? I have really been wrestling with what is from God and what is from my own heart? I have had to have many conversations with God about who I am and where He is leading me. Then when a moment happens that feels like direction from God how do you know? I have been having a lot of deep thoughts with myself and my close friends about what is life lately? I think a lot of random thoughts about what is going on lately but all I can say is that I have tried to find direction and have to keep praying. How do you know who or what is leading you in your life? xoxo, Em